The Puchcha, New In Politics
SKY's DIARY
Week 33
22nd November, Saturday 2014
Week 32
15th November, Saturday 2014
Week 31
8th November, Saturday 2014
Week 30
1st November, Saturday 2014
Week 29
25th October, Saturday 2014
Week 28
18th October, Saturday 2014
Week 27
11th October, Saturday 2014
Week 26
4th October, Saturday 2014
Week 25
27th September, Saturday 2014
Week 24
20th September, Saturday 2014
Week 23
13th September, Saturday 2014
Week 22
6th September, Saturday 2014
Week 21
30th August, Saturday 2014
Week 20
23rd August, Saturday 2014
Week 19
16th August, Saturday 2014
Week 18
9th August, Saturday 2014
Week 17
2nd August, Saturday 2014
Week 16
26th July, Saturday 2014
Week 15
19th July, Saturday 2014
Week 14
12th July, Saturday 2014
Week 13
5th July, Saturday 2014
Week 12
28th June, Saturday 2014
Week 11
21st June, Saturday 2014
Week 10
14th June, Saturday 2014
Week 9
7th June, Saturday 2014
Week 8
24th May, Saturday 2014
Week 7
17th May, Saturday 2014
Week 6
3rd May, Saturday 2014
Week 5
26th April, Saturday 2014
Week 4
19th April, Saturday 2014
Week 3
12th April, Saturday 2014
Week 2
5th April, Saturday 2014
Week 1
29th March, Saturday 2014
SKY's
Week 1
29th March, Saturday 2014
Gosh! Where has dad sent me? Janpratinidhi? What the hell is that supposed to mean? “No way out Sky! You are in a soup now”. Have to plod on through the whole day. Otherwise I am in for at least an hour’s lecture from dad. “Akash you have got a golden chance” “Don’t let me down” “You must work hard for a change” and blah blah. How I hate all this “gyanbazi” and worse still is the name he insists on using “Akash”. I simply can’t bear it. So damn “pakaau”. Sky sounds so cool. It has a different feel to it. Now I’ll have to bear this old fashioned “Akash” the whole day long in this goddamned office. What rotten luck to have a father worse than Gabbar! My whole gang has gone for a movie today. But here I am on a week end ready to waste my day in an office. The name too is a bouncer for me. Have to google it before I go in. And the only Nidhi I know, was my girlfriend six months ago. Well at least she was not boring at all. Come to think of that, maybe there are some nice gals in here. Even the thought brightens up the day. Heck…. I’m late the very first day. Pleeez no lecture here, I hope. Gotta rush…. bye.… Hey, back for a sec…Just a lovely thought….Maybe they’ll chuck me out, after all, the very first day, for being so late. Wow! Ecstasy! Oh! Someone’s coming out…Am rushing in….. Signing off….Chao.
SKY's
Week 2
5th April, Saturday 2014
Urghh..this is so boooring, I need to stick my eyelids to eyebrow to keep myself awake ya. This office is buzzing with election news, everybody is going ‘gaga-gugu’ over anything related to these elections. I mean, gimme a break, don’t you have a life or what. These people are nerds really. O god, why did you do this to me. What my friends will think of me when they get to know that I work here. Man!!! That would be embarrassing. My iphone is beeping, battery is low, its gonna switch off soon, no charger here, I have no idea how am I gonna survive here without my phone. I feel so out of place. I hate my dad, he did this to me. From the day I have joined this company I have been begging him to get me out of that place. He just doesn’t listen to me. He never listens to me. Huh!! People should know who iam before messing up with me. I have a PLAN baby, yesssss. I gonna be so so bad and useless that they themselves kick me out. Anyways iam given a task to go through company’s mannuals and policies, this punishment is even worse than what I gave to my buddy once when he lost a game with me. I made him watch “Youngistaan”….twice..continuously ..hehehehe..iam so erie to made him bear such a pakau picture. Ohh..fudge..its already 4 pm..i have to complete my work in an hour..gotta go..buhbye.
SKY's
Week 3
12th April, Saturday 2014
Puchcha_Fashion_Show
Editor note – Our own Puccha, Sky went to vote this 10th April, Friday and came back to office grinning and with a tinkle in his eyes. Slight change in his behavior is also observed. Responsible ones go to vote, little we knew that voting can make one responsible.

Yehi hai right choice baby, ahan! Second time I got inked, first time I got my tattoo and this time I voted this Friday. I gotta admit, the feel was pretty cool, every timeI used to see my dad’s left hand forefinger inked soon after he used to come from polling booth, I kept mum and waited for my turn to get into the men brigade. This time I was standing with my dad in the line for voting. This was one of the few times when daddy was proud of something I did. This stain is making me feel important, its like India wants to know my choice, woohooo iam kinda top of the world. I know this ink doesn’t go away by rubbing or washing, it goes with time, still didn’t want to take chances, and hence skipped a bath. teased younger sis as a kiddo while having a routine fighting like “ oye, don’t you point your finger at me, it doesn’t have ink on.” Hehehehe. Later that evening I was eagerly waiting for frnz to come over so that I could brag about it and show off a bit. A special day it was, I voted for the very first time in my life. Surprisingly, this small stain was a conversation starter in my office too. My boss, Mr.Verma spoke to me regarding vote, it was a light chit-chat about whom you voted etc etc. But I could see change in my colleagues’ perception for me, for good.
SKY's
Week 4
19th April, Saturday 2014
Constipation..no no..its constitution!! There was a pun intended but my colleague kept staring at me with a poker face. This is so dull. This was my second conversation with Vijyalakshmi, a nerd, after once she spoke to me when I had come to office after voting. I think that was just a day, things are back to be boring as ever. Who cares though, I laughed my lungs out in my mind. It’s a different kind of fun to have fun with lame people. I so wish my group was here at that moment, whatsapping cant do that much you have to be there to see something funny. My sis is such a @$#@!, she told everybody in my group and her group that I have started working here..grrrrrr..i will get back to her for sure..she completely ruined my image. And Gupta uncle, he was happy with it..he was telling dad that he took such a right step for me. Huh!! his own son is out of his control and he is preaching others. Such double standards. Anyways, like always, iam least bothered. Now mumma has started sending lunchbox with me..this is too uncool..i tried leaving it at home but she is so persuasive I cant even mention. And I love her too J J..Today again my gang has planned for a party in Noida. Last time I gave excuse that I have to go somewhere else but this time since they already know that iam working here even on Saturdays, they have planned it from 9 pm till morning. My friends are my life savers. But iam sure Dad is gonna put his nose in between. I will have to face the situation…no other way out.. and yes I have to fill the daily report too..last time I forgot and was fined.
SKY's
Week 5
26th April, Saturday 2014
You guys wont believe, guess whom I ran into this morning?? Tanyaaaa… she stays nearby my workplace. That’s a motivation factor now. Man!!!! she looked even prettier. I pray to god she is not seeing anyone. I sooo need her number..its been a long time since we were together.

I think Neha must be having her number..but it’s a tedious task to get it from her..she is always so suspicious of me..ummmm..will have to find someone else who have Tanya’s number.

My boss has given me a task to complete which is literally the most boring and yukkk thing to do on the whole planet. He asked me to go to the slum area as a news correspondent and ask questions like what do you eat? Do you go to school? Do you have water?? I mean who asks that..its so obvious..everyone have these things..they are just so basic..questions should be like do you drive Audi? What is your fav brand? What is your dream travel destination?

I was offended when boss asked me to tone down my look..i was like whaaaatttt!! My spikes are the best in the entire college..and my tattoo..girls die for it..but as a second thought I think he is right, what if I go in slums with the same kind of outfit I daily wear and they confuse me with some Bollywood actor. He he he he
SKY's
Week 6
3rd May, Saturday 2014
I am all set to hit the slums in late afternoon today, kinda excited. I know..i know excited for SLUMS?? Weird !! but I louvvv change for good or for worse..and anyways..what could happen..!! let those people have pleasure of my company for a while..just a thought..why there are so many dogs in there?????..guess??? because SLUM+DOG= MILLIONARE…lollzzz..

Summers have come, ahhhh..my favourite season..when I told this to VJ (vijaylaxmi’s better version name which I gave to her but she condemns it..), she again made faces. I don’t know why she talks so less . always working and completing her assignments..i doubt..she is a robot!!! And might be she has come from far far away where tax is imposed on speech too..ha ha ha.

I think I did one good thing today, while coming to office , I saw an old rikshaw-wala trying his level best to carry two big fat aunties on his rikshaw (which looked as if it is gonna fall apart any moment). I felt pity ..poor guy and what can you say about our broken roads..huge pits here and there perfect for rain-water-harvesting on the road.

People here are over adjusting to live with such stuff..so much inconvenience..Ya ..so I was praising myself..when a saw that rikshaw-wala unable to carry his sawari, then I pushed his rikshaw with both of my hands..i kept trying but it was stuck ..to my surprise..i saw increasing hands to push ..few people came together to help..It was a feel good moment, and that was because of me.. So always keep a brand new puccha with you..
SKY's
Week 7
17th May, Saturday 2014
Yahooooo..so Modi has finally won..i knew it, the government will be MODIfied now.

So now you sensitized people dancing like maniac on roads, trains, malls, buses, tables, heads..let me check your M.Q. (modi quotient) to see how compatible you will be in coming time.

Ok , what will you say if you want let’s say sugar in a small amount??? Guess??

Please give me MODIcum of sugar.

You don’t like when someone say – “hey, hi” then tell him to MODIfy ..ha ha ha

You are an employer and your don’t like the way your HR manager hire…then bring a MODIfier.

You think you are an able person and you love MODI, then my friend you are MODIfiable.

You are a die-hard fan of someone and want his/her painting/statue done ..then call a MODIgliani.

You like wearing Nehru-jackets which are rage of the day, then you will be called MODIsh.

Remember, you have to have enough MODIshness to carry off that jacket ..what did you say? Your jacket doesn’t fit you..?? better see a MODIste.

Didn’t I said all this pretty MODIshly..

You bet I did..
SKY's
Week 8
24th May, Saturday 2014
Puchcha_Fashion_Show

My jaw literally dropped when VJ told me that according to some census data, 65 million people live in slums here in India and it comprises roughly 1/18th of our total population. I am shocked to the core! Seriously man, I mean there is so much I don’t know.

I was upset to the core when saw a kid and a dog both looking for something to eat in a pile of garbage. Very disturbing... when I told this to VJ, she asked me, “ Are you hungry too?”..grrrrrr..trying to be funny ..huh ”Hungry Kya” reminds me of pizza..and now it can fly to you anywhere you want. Cool !!

Ok ok, back to reality..

It was like another world where nothing was available and I thought it will be far away from here like Sudan. You know Kevin Carter, a dimpled photojournalist from South Africa won a Pulitzer Prize for his photograph depicting the 1993 famine in Sudan. In which he captured a starving toddler trying to reach a feeding center and a vulture gazing the child. He committed suicide after winning the prize.

Read – Kevin Carter

Now, I see why!!!!

How do people stay in such cramped, poorly ventilated and dirty places, I don’t know. Family of 8 members in one room? Unbelievable. However, the zest of life was no less there, if no toys kids were playing with old, torn tyres and ropes. J J

When I entered the slum which is around 4 km away from Nizamuddin Railway station with VJ (Vijaylaxmi), saw people living up their day-to-day lives, kids crying, uncles sitting in a group, aunties doing routine cleaning etc.

After continuous poking of VJ, I finally went to an elderly person and asked, “ Hello Sir, May I know your name?” suddenly everybody stopped doing their work and looked at me as if I am an alien. “ Ye madaya, Indi mai bolo..Inglish illai” (Speak in Hindi, not in English you fool) cried VJ..

The take-off was rough but the landing was very smooth. People responded to me, I think now I can take on Arnab Goswami..heheheheh..anyways..they raised issues from inadequate infrastructure and lacking proper sanitary to drinking water facilities. All noted and captured. It was an experience. I would like to go again but I am sure the filthy odor of cow dung and decomposed garbage with lots of flies will keep me away.
SKY's
Week 9
7th June, Saturday 2014
The day my social life ended and work life began, my memory has got vague of when I last slept till late. Every morning I have to wake up at 7 and get ready for a humdrum existence. In the office, I feel like I’ll doze off any moment. It becomes a tedious task to keep those little muscles in control. I mean, who wakes up this early? Must be those who don’t have a life.
Anyway, this morning was quite unusual because instead of our house maid, I saw a girl sweeping off the floor of my room. She must be 12 years old, I guess.. I ran to my mom and asked her curiously, “what is this girl doing here? Where is our maid?” She is the daughter of our maid. The maid is not well. So, this girl will be working for few days. I looked at my mom with a smirk and an eye brow raised and said, “Apne aaram ke liye bacchi ka school miss karva diya. Kaisi nagrik ho aap? And, you badger me for not being a good citizen.”
However, to my surprise I discovered that this girl, Tarannum doesn’t go to school; neither do any of her siblings. What?? Are you kidding me? No school?? Lucky she, indeed. I always hated school. Well, not entirely because I was so popular for my “cool-dude-attitude”, especially among girls. I can’t tell you how much I love attention.
Coming back to the point..
I told this to VJ. I thought I’ll also make those intellectual conversations like everybody does that here. But she said that I am very much consumed in myself and I am gullible.. Wait.. What?? I could really smoke through my ears out of wrath.
But, then I ascertained that the poverty level of our so called “sone ki chidiya” is so high that their parents have to really put a heavy rock on their hearts and devoid them of education. So, the kids can lend a hand in earning some extra penny.
This is sad. Isn’t it??
I can’t believe what just happened. Rahul sent me the number of Tanya. I asked him to wake up the Sherlock residing inside him. I think I’ll bloat of happiness. Gotta take of now..
Woohhooo!!
SKY's
Week 10
14th June, Saturday 2014
My morning can’t get any worse. Uuggghhh!!! I was ‘called on the carpet’ by my boss just because I was sitting idle for a while. Is it a crime? And, VJ was even worse.. She was giving me “you deserve this look”.. Huhh!! Why?? I have such a winning personality. How can anybody be mean to me?? But I like to piss her off. Hahahaha!!

A correction here.. Yesterday was the worst.. I had to go to the university office to get my duplicate ID card. Ask me why?? Because, the proactive administration never posted my id card to my place.. It was my third visit to that god damn office. This time, they were ready to provide me the bliss.. Bliss?? Oh no.. No!! First of all, I hate government offices.. Second of all, I hate the government employees cozying up in the office with that gigantic paunch of theirs. What are they getting paid for, dude??

Oh damn, wait!! My boss should be happy that I am unlike them.. Yet no credit.. huuhhhh!! Anyway, the guy at the reception was quite helpful. When I got the card, I was told to fill it up myself.. Why?? Teachers always filled the ID card for us in school. But I did the hard work, pasted my smashing and dashing picture. That good guy told me to go in some room number-4..

There I saw the employees, slurping their ‘chai’ and chatting. Don’t forget the paunch, my friends.. He asked me to put my card on a pile of files. “Sir ji, stamp hi to karna hai. Kar do.”

“Ha, ho jaega. Wait karo bahar”, said he. I waited for half an hour. Yes! To get a stamp, which according to scientists, take only a spur of the moment. Dude!! It’s not rocket science. When I reached the height of getting frustrated, I got ready with my arms and ammunitions. I raced towards the room like Rowdy Rathore. Man!! That worked.. Bwwwaahhh!! I think I should turn to this rowdiness..

Oh freak! My boss called me. I think he is going to drag me to the carpet again. Gotta go!!

Chivalric sky, signing off!!
SKY's
Week 11
21st June, Saturday 2014


Oh no guys.. what is happening to me? I think someone has bewitched me or something of that sort... 2 days back I was chilling with my friends and chatting in a café.. I was catching up with them because I don’t get any time because of my job.. uugghh!! After everybody was done with their story telling I got started.. and guess what I blurted out.. I just started babbling about what is currently happening in the country.. what?? No!! This not me dude.. this was never me.. I started talking about the ministers, their controversies, latest petitions and blah blah blah.. my friends were shocked.. I know it was so embarrassing.. but somehow I managed to get past their side looks and changed the topic to FIFA.. but the sad part is that my dad is all gaga about me.. he tells everyone that I am now getting enlightened.. What? Enlightened? This word should be limited just to Osho or Mahesh Bhatt.. I watched his Koffee with Karan episode.. I like it coz it’s fun.. anyway, I hate it whenever my dad smiles at me and gives me thumbs up.. This job is really getting on my nerves.. and the most annoying thing is that VJ also smiles at me.. she says one day I’ll write books like Osho.. no, I won’t.. they always switch on the news channel in the office and subconsciously I am grasping it.. can’t they switch the channel to VH1 or MTV?? They play all the latest songs by Armin Van Buuren.. man!! he is my favourite.. everyone is eating my head off by discussing about Modi imposing Hindi for posts on social network sites.. what?? How is it possible?? It’s so uncool.. I have some friends from Netherlands in my Facebook.. How will they understand what I am writing?? I know it’s our mother tongue but nobody posts in Hindi ya.. Regarding this I gotta meet Modi ji.. I’ll talk to him folks.. don’t you worry..

Ciao, people! Cya next week..
SKY's
Week 12
28th June, Saturday 2014
The moment I entered the office, I saw VJ walking towards me with her wicked smile. I could see horns over her head. I couldn’t guess. She asked me, “How often you watch news?” Then, she switched on the TV. I was embarrassed to discover that the Hindi imposition was only for Modi’s officials; but relieved also. The entire day she nagged me. The day couldn’t be any worse. Whatever write-ups I was submitting were getting rejected by my boss. He kept on saying, “You lack depth.” Now I can’t sit in a pit for depth. Do I?

For a little break I sat down and logged in to FB. A friend had shared a research by the country’s scientists. Based on some research they concluded that using Hindi preferably makes your mind more ‘sakriya’ (alert; I had to ask VJ its meaning), while in English only 1 part of the brain is used. They said that use as much Hindi as you can and English, only when you need it.

Then started the Word War-I. It was like bull fighting. Who’d be the bull? Of course, him; I am the matador. It suits my personality. Anyway, he was constantly saying that Hindi uses both sides of the brain. We should stick to our mother tongue. It’s good for understanding and application. I prefer Swadeshi and blah.. blah.. blah.. He clung to one point.

Then I said, “Dude, don’t be… ummm.. Who was that lady in mahabharat? Who blindfolded herself because her husband was blind? Ummm.. yes! Gandhari. Those scientists are Dhritrashtra and you are Gandhari. They may be blind to the other side of the story and you are blindfolding yourself for their sake.”

That made him way too furious at me. I was kidding man.

Then I told him that my brain is more active than his. “Because, my dear friend I am not underusing my brain by limiting it to just one language. Although, it must be using only some part but at least I am not letting just one thing take hold of it. I am using it for more things. You and your scientists say that using Hindi makes your brain more alert. But I say I can make my alertness more interesting. While you call a girl ‘Sundar’ or ‘Khoobsurat’; I’ll call her ‘Beautiful’, ‘Schön’, ‘Magnifique’, ‘Eccellente’. OMG! I have become so eloquent.”

Oh God! This poor lad was still stuck on his point. Then, I asked him how Hindi would shake up the cells of the brain of those who don’t know the language. All he could say was impact of Hindi and stuff. I wanted to tell him a joke.

“A cat was chasing couple of mice. When the mice were trapped by the cat, one of them turned around and started barking, ‘Woof.. Woof.. Woof!!’ The cat got scared and ran away. When the mouse asked his mother about cat’s retreat, she said smile, ‘my son, this is benefit of learning two languages.’”

He didn’t get the joke. I hope you guys know what I mean. Oh damn! My boss just caught me using FB. I am doomed. He might chuck me out. Oh yes! That’s what I wanted from the very first day. He just asked me to meet him on Monday. Why would he need 2 days to chuck me out? Oh no guys. I may not write to you from next week. Or.. I may want to stay. Pray for me that you see a post from me next week. Until then..

‘Alvida’, ‘Bye’, ‘Ciao’ and ‘Sayonara’
SKY's
Week 13
5th July, Saturday 2014
Wassup Niggas!!

The chivalric Sky is back in the alley.. Boss didn’t chuck me out.. How could he?? After all, I am the Puchcha, the enlightened voter of the country.. Although, I was quite worried about me not writing to you people in the future but nothing like that happened.. I like writing my diary for you all. Anyway, he just called me to ask why I was not submitting my daily work reports.. Damn it. First write 3000 words per day as your work. Then write a goddamn 300 words daily report. It’s so damn boring you know what. You heard right. We have to write 3000 words a day.. What freak would write this much?? If I had written this much in my school time I would have become as smart as Sheldon Cooper. Ahhh! That reminds me why everyone in my content team is just like Sheldon Cooper, GEEKS in all capital letters.

Yester-noon, everyone decided to go downstairs for lunch.. I also joined them.. We had chicken lollipop.. Yuuummm!! It was awesome.. Then 2-3 dogs came drooling and gazed at me with a hope to get a few pieces of the chicken.. But I teased them away.. VJ said, “Oh look, your besties have come to party with you..” What?? I couldn’t be any angrier at her.. And she could get that from my look.. Then she tried to cover, “They are cute. Aren’t they?” I just smiled the comment away..

What an irony? When we reached back to the office, my content head gave me a topic to write a news report on a stray dog that killed an infant. Damn!! You guys remember the incident, a dog mauled a 2 month old to death last week.. It was very, very sad.. Even I felt for the girl and her family.. A lot of fuss was created over the stray dogs. Now the NDMC is seeking for a permit for the passive killing of all stray dogs.. What?? Have they lost it?? How can they even think of it? Shouldn’t they opt for saner solutions?? NDMC struggled in sterilizing all stray dogs in the city despite spending crores of funds on the program.. The doctors couldn’t meet the target by sterilizing only 500 dogs per month. Whose fault is this?? And the NDMC is finding the passive killing as the only solution left?! Why can't they find an effective way and keep a regular check on the menace of stray dogs’ population?? Humans are more animalistic in nature. They maul its own species every now and then.. They are more dangerous for the planet.. Take the case of Iraq.. So, should we drag the entire mankind to death?? Oh yeah!! That should be the recourse. Shouldn't it?? They call me naïve and unenlightened.. If this is called being mature and enlightened, then I am happy being in this state only..

Ciao!!
SKY's
Week 14
12th July, Saturday 2014


Hellowww friends!

So, the budget is out. What did all of you think of it? ‘Jaitley Sahab’ did a good or a bad job? Well, I think he made the budget fair enough. A lot of exemptions on the taxes have been made for the common man. And, there is a hike in the price of tobacco, cigarettes and aerated drinks. I think that’s a very thoughtful step. Indeed to improve on the health conditions. It has also received a few criticisms, but so far so good. A lot more things could have been added, but let’s see how this current budget goes.

Hey, hey.. That’s me.. Sky! You must be thinking who is this dude? Can’t be Sky. Right? I know I don’t speak ‘intellectual’. Yesterday, everybody got stuck in our room for the budget news. I was observing their reactions and I picked up those lines which I could use for myself. Am I not smart? My boss told me this morning, while making an intelligent conversation, even if you don’t know much about, pretend that you are a master at it, and don’t let it last beyond 30 minutes. Ha-ha! Well, this advice is working for me these days. My mom and dad are so happy with me these days that they let me do anything I want. Isn’t it awesome!

Anyway, to tell you the truth, I hardly understood anything on the budget. Most of the things didn’t even linger around my head. But all I could get was that making girlfriends shop around will be a little pocket friendly. I won’t have to worry much about it. Branded clothes, footwear, diamonds, gems, cosmetics and all have gone cheaper. I could see the happiness on my mom’s face yester-night. She may soon get a new diamond set or a big rock on her finger. After all, she worked hard on convincing dad about it.

But the most awesome part is that LED, LCD, mobile phones, computers have also gone cheaper. Yes!! I so wanted to get a new phone and upgrade my PC. I can bet, I am gonna make my PC, a rocket with my next month’s salary. Awesome! I’ll make it just for gaming and then I’ll possess all the latest games. Bwaaahh!!

BTW, did you all have a look over the amount of money proposed for many projects? If not, then I’ll tell you..
  • Rs 14,389 crore for Pradhan Mantri Gram Sadak Yojana
  • Rs 8,000 crore for rural housing
  • Rs 3,600 crore for National Rural Drinking Water Programme
  • Rs 28,635 crore for Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan
  • Rs 50,000 crore allocated for Short Term Cooperative Rural Credit Fund
These are just few that I have read in the Indian Express. There are many more like these. Please somebody tell me.. Where does all this money come from? Do we even have this much? Oh Duck! ‘Jaw drop’ would be way too underwhelming to express my shock. If I get even 1/10th wouldn’t have to work for my E-N-T-I-R-E life. So much of money this country has.

Well, that’s too much of the budget for me now. I would rather go online and check new phones and parts to upgrade my PC. “Kuch to fayeda uthaya jaye acche dino ka”

Buhbye, Bharatwasiyo!
SKY's
Week 15
19th July, Saturday 2014


Hello my friends!

This morning I am very drowsy and full of yawns. The entire week was so heated. You know FIFA fever. Germany was so amazing. Once it got started, it was almost next to impossible to defeat the team. And it was a debacle for Brazil this year. Dude! People have made jokes about the historic match between Brazil and Germany, but I swear, I went to pee pee and came back. What the duck! 4 goals already? And Suarez’s bites. Hahaha! I can’t hold my laughter. I mean, how can someone actually bite almost everyone in the middle of the game? His teeth popping out of his mouth explains how much he has bitten before. When finally, I thought that I would take a good sleep, Tanya called me up and we talked for the whole night. Ahh!! What a conversation.

When I stepped in, I saw Kunal asking everyone about their future aspirations. Teachers used to ask such question in school. And everyone gave responses like writer, anchor, journalists like Arnab Goswami. Mm! I don’t like him now. Although he is an amazing news anchor, but most of the time he “screams and shouts and lets it all out”. Hahaha! I know I am witty. Well, then everybody’s eyes and necks turned towards me. It was my turn to recite my future aspirations. But, I never thought of it. I have 2 more years of college and a lot of time to think. I can’t tell what I’ll be doing tomorrow and they are asking me about my future after 4-5 years. Silly lads and lasses! “I don’t want to get into something which needs a pile of books to be studied. I mean, who has this much of time to waste. I think I can be a business man or maybe a politician. What say guys?”

“What, a politician?”, everyone exclaimed as if I had said something very controversial. VJ never leaves a chance to snap at me, “What will you do if you accidentally become a politician?”, she asked. I told her that first of all, it will not be accidental and second of all I want to possess endless fame, glory and the currency in my wallet, and of course I’ll work in the welfare of people. Also, I told them that I already have an offer to actually step into it by joining the college elections. After all, Janpratinidhi is doing some good to me, it made me so much popular in my college. It will be a piece of cake for me to win it. Right? “I think you’ll become a frivolous and scatter-brained politician like the most of them. You’ll be no good and that’s a fact”, VJ articulated. I still can’t make out, why she hates me so much.

Well, I don’t care much because, finally I got what I want to be. A Politician! I read that Akhilesh Yadav has recently bought 2 Mercedes and 2 Land Cruisers. Oh man! My dream cars they are. And, he is also on a family vacation to London. What a life the politicians have got! I’ll drive Tanya in those cars for dates and the destination will not be in India. And, these journalists will cover me in the news and take my interviews. I’ll sit like a boss.

Yes! I am going to announce to my friends and family with all the bravado that I want to be a politician. And, now Sky will be put to work to touch the sky soon. My first step will be to join the college’s elections and come out to be victorious. The throne is already mine. After all, I am so popular in my college. Signing off!

Your soon to be the most loved politician.
SKY's
Week 16
26th July, Saturday 2014


Super morning people!!

Last weekend was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Because, after the office, I met Tanya. We thought of having momos, but it started raining. Dinosaurs were jumping inside my stomach because of excitement. But, whenever I am having the time of my life, mom calls me and ruins the flow of emotions. This time it wasn’t that bad, because my dadi jaan is coming. I love her more than anybody else. Anyway, after hanging up we continued to go with the wind. But, when a moron passed by on his bike, the muddy water splashed on both of us and Tanya fell. I should not say this, but only I know how I controlled my laughter after seeing Tanya’s face. She looked like an alligator in a mire. Damn!! Then, I pulled her up and ran after that dimwit.

“Oi, stop here!”, I screamed at him. He stopped and when he got up, dude he was a giant whom I didn’t notice. But, it was then a matter of pride.

“Ke problem se chore?” (What is your problem dude?), he inquired vexedly.

Oh Duck! This guy will beat the hell out of me, he was huge. Had I been alone, I wouldn’t have messed up with him. But Tanya is looking at me with her big puppy eyes. I gotta act like a gallant warrior. Oh God! Show some mercy on me, I prayed silently.

“Ghana fan hai re Ghost Rider ka nuu fattfatiya ne bhi udhan khatola samjhe baitha hai” (you seem to be a big fan of Ghost Rider, which is why you mistook your trash motorcycle to be a UFO) I commented sarcastically. You know, sometimes, I can’t believe my own witty jokes. Its inherent, this something which comes naturally to me.

Well, he was a tough fight indeed, but I was no less and I made him apologize to Tanya. She was impressed with me. Oh yeah, chivalric Sky I am. Now, the incident proves that I possess that ‘gunda quality’ in me which will make me a corrupted and rich neta. I am getting even more convinced and confident.

After I reached back home, I decided to break the big news at the dining table. “Everyone, attention please. I have an announcement to make.”

“What is it? Have you been fired from Janpratinidhi? Oh god! I don’t know what to do with this boy. When will you get serious?” mom exclaimed without even listening to me. I asked her not to make any assumptions unnecessarily.

Then came the moment. “ Ahem Ahem! I have decided what I am gonna do with my future, which is..” “An autowala?”, bumped my sister in. Ugghh! So typical for her to ruin my moment. “ How can I steal your aspiration, my sisi autowali? Now back to my announcement. I have decided that I’ll become a politician. What say?”

No yippee, no hurrah. To my disappointment, they were raging at my declaration. “Are you mad? Concentrate on your studies. No need of going astray. If you are not going to listen to us then you better get ready to drive an auto for your entire life. Understood?”, dad screamed at me.

You can’t even manage your room, then how will you manage the nation? There is no need thinking of any such thing. Complete your graduation, then MBA and look for a decent job,” said mom.

Both mom and dad kept on throwing their comments on me, but I didn’t pay any heed to it. I know what I have to do and now I am even more adamant to become a politician. When I’ll gift them expensive gifts, then only they’ll be proud of me.

I’ll better go off now, gotta prepare myself.

Fingers Crossed.

Ciao!
SKY's
Week 17
2nd August, Saturday 2014


Hey guys! Guess what happened with me 2 days back. I was finally joining my college back in the 2nd year. I was all set to leave, but I couldn’t find my bike’s keys. “Mom! Where are my keys?”, I called out mom. But, dad came out swinging the keys in his hand, as if he wanted to hypnotize me with it. “Thank god! Dad, you are a savior,” I said. “Ha-ha! Am I?”, he sounded rather like a devil. “You are not going to get this little thing back for this entire semester,” he avowed, leaving me in the state of shock. Oh no! He ought not do that. “Either score good marks this year or forget your chariot for another semester. Understood?”, he resumed. “Dad, how am I suppose to go to college then?” According to his wise suggestion, I could take a bus or metro. Before I could say anything, he went back to his room and locked it from inside.

I don’t understand, where all this population comes from? Especially, at Rajiv Chowk. God! I lost my way almost 4 times. When everyone was getting out of the metro, it looked like thousands of mice were thronged in a box. I am never travelling by a metro again. I gotta do something to get my bike back.

“Hey Sky, it seems you have been biting dust these days. What happened to your ride?”, asked my friends. I narrated them the story of my bike being confiscated by my dad, until I score back my respect.

“Look at the irony, here we are bereft of privileges and these MPs are demanding for more: special entrance, priority check-ins, free refreshments and what not, while travelling through air. Later on, they will ask for the moon and stars and as a commandment and we’ll have to follow it.”

“Oh yes! All they want is pampering like a Johnsons and Johnsons’ baby gets, and the VVIP treatment,” my friend added; “Getting their bums caressed with powder.”

“They all should be sent to some other planet along with all of the privileges they claim,” said the other one. “How about Venus?”, he added. Absolutely! “Guys, they should be sent to my dad. He is quite skilled in seizing privileges from people”, I said with all venom I could muster.

“Surprise!”, a girl whooped from behind unanticipatedly. “Tanya? What are you doing here?”, yes she was really there. “I took migration from my college. And, now I am here. I thought of giving you a surprise.” Woah! That was indeed an amazing surprise. When I was walking down with her and my friends, I saw many people looking at me and then talking to their friends. I was wondering what is happening. Maybe, I looked funny. Then, a girl came and told me that she loves my posts on Janpratinidhi.com. Well, I don’t know what good my office has done for me other than this. And, I sure am loving the fame.

Me and Tanya decided to walk down to the canteen. And, it was a day full of surprises for me (this one was more of a shock to me). A man called Tanya’s name. Both of us were startled, because it was her first day and she didn’t know anyone other than me.

Oh Duck! I am now sure that God doesn’t love me. He likes to mess up with me. The man was Sharma Sir and I am on the top in his Blacklist. Another shock, he turned out to be her uncle. He was walking towards us.

Damn! My boss has called me. I’ll continue my tragedy next week.

Cya all!
SKY's
Week 18
9th August, Saturday 2014


Hey guys!

I had to leave the story in the middle of its climax because my boss had called me up. Last week I told you that Tanya was called by an unknown man who turned out be Sharma Sir who is actually her uncle. And, I have been on his blacklist for past a year. He was heading towards us and my heart had climbed up to my mouth.

“Hello uncle”, chirped Tanya with so much of joy as if it was an auspicious moment. “You know Sky, uncle helped me getting in here,” she added with glee. Sharma sir’s eyes turned towards me, he was staring at me like he could shoot me with his eyes. “Hee-ll-o Un-cl-e”, God knows why I called him uncle. Glances of the both of them fixated on me. Damn! I embarrassed myself. “I mean Good morning sir”, I struggled in uttering every word.

He, then, asked Tanya what she is doing with me and how she knows me. “Uncle, Sky and I were in the same school. We know each other for past many years,” Tanya explained. “If I had even the least idea that you two are friends, I would never have got you migrated here. And, you Akash, always remember that you ought not to be seen anywhere around her. Understood?”, Sharma sir ordered like he was pronouncing a commandment for me, if not followed, he could behead me. And, he intentionally emphasized my name because he is very well aware that I don’t like being called Akash.

“But uncle...”, Tanya was quietened by him and he took her along. Before going, he said, “My eyes are on you now. Beware!” God, my life is not some Bollywood masala movie that you are constantly stuffing it up with all kinds of twists and turns. Even if it is, you are flopping it down.

You know guys, I thought that when my college will reopen, I will work from home with getting all cozy and comfy, and no tension of getting rebuked by my boss. But, he didn’t give me thumbs up to my innocent plea. Now, I have to report at the office whenever I get free from my college in the evening. Well, as Akshay Kumar says, “Bacche ki jaan loge kya?”

Now, something important I gotta tell all of you.

I read in a newspaper that of late, a mother donated her son’s organs who was declared brain dead after a fatal accident. She was broken to the core at the death of her 20-year-old son, yet she and other family members had enough courage to allow the doctors to use his organs for saving the lives of others rather than cremating them. His heart saved the life of a 42-year-old man. Moreover, liver, kidneys, eyes and bones of legs were transplanted. Doctors said that about 12 people will be benefited with his donation. Hats off to the mother. She has set an amazing example for all of us.

Also, I was checking out our website and came across a video of a visually impaired boy. It’s called, “WHAT WILL YOU DO IF A BLIND KID WANTS TO BORROW YOUR BOOK?” WHAT WILL YOU DO IF A BLIND KID WANTS TO BORROW YOUR BOOK? I was really touched and I would recommend all of you to watch it. And, I think the main concern, it raises is that one should donate organs after their death, which brings me to the Organ Donation Day that is on 13th cause. All you have to do is to get yourself registered on the website www.organdonationday.in. Always remember that no religion prohibits you from donating your organ after you are no more alive. Did you know that you alone can save at least 7 lives by donating your organs and tissues?

So guys, make yourselves aware and pledge to donate your organs. You could be the reason of someone’s life and happiness.

Cya people!
SKY's
Week 19
16th August, Saturday 2014


Hey Guys! I think, I’d soon metamorphose into a pressure cooker. He is building up so much pressure in my head that I don’t breathe any more, I blow whistles whenever pressure is on the high rise. Now, he is pushing me to prepare for exams for civil services. Dad says, “Beta, government job lag gayi to aish ki life katoge.” This line has become such a cliché.

Parents have been fooling innocent kids like me since birth. My mom and dad started reciting their favourite lines from the moment I got promoted to 9th standard. “Get serious and work hard. Once you score well in 10th and 12th, rest will be a piece of cake,” I can be dead sure that your parents have also mouthed these words until you appeared for your last board exam. But, they have sworn to never spare us the horror. Then comes the college horror. “It is merely a matter of only 3 (or 4) years. Once you are done with your graduation, life will be a piece of cake.” And, the terror and horror pass on to post graduation and later until you get a decent job. But, then also they don’t put themselves at rest. “It is the only time to work hard. Once, it is gone, then it is gone.” However, apparently, it never goes.

Anyway, he is now forcing me to prepare for UPSC exams and try out for a government job . “But dad, if I prepare for UPSC, be prepared to find me agitating against all examinations conducted by it. I am telling you because that is the latest trend. ,” I said jokingly. He didn’t get the subtext of what I was tying to say then I explained him that I was talking about the current furore against CSAT for language. “Why would you do that? Or would you because your English is not good, your reasoning and mental ability are questionable and above all you do not have any aptitude for civil service.Dad quipped. “Very funny, dad”.

I think these CSAT agitators are wasting their time. They want CSAT to be scrapped because of its emphasis on English. What happens if a bureaucrat takes only Hindi and is deputed outside India? The government may need to appoint a translator for them. Well, all of you can guess the rest what will happen. Under no circumstances, the Government should surrender to these agitators. Tomorrow they will dictate what questions should be included in the EXAM. It is the time to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! But one part of me will support them wholly, if they agitate to scrap all exams completely” ha. Ha. Anyway, I hope that they gain back their common sense soon and start working on their English ASAP.

Yesterday was Independence Day. However much you listen to Enrique and others all day long, Vande Mataram by Lata Mangeshkar definitely gives you goosebumps. I wasn’t much happy as I don’t think we have still become independent. Though, we have overcome colonialism, but there are a lot more things that have entrapped us.

I chase jubilation, look for felicity.

Euphoria in mind, bliss in heart.

But, hostility is all I see.

Sounds of pelting stones and fighting swords I hear

Bullets piercing the flesh are making a stream of blood.

Shaming sisters ferally.

Humanity is altered, savagery is embraced.

The soi-distant divines keep mum.

They gaze at the spectacle, while sitting on the thrones.

I inquire, where is freedom?

Where is liberty?

I strive and toil; but all in vain.

Stranded in a mire of corruption, vice and immorality which engulf the land.

Yet, they say, we are Independent.

And, I ask:

Where is freedom?

Where is Independence?

Hey-hey. I didn’t write it. Devika, from my content team has penned this piece and I nod in agreement with her. Think guys, have we really got freedom?

Cya all!

Jai Hind!
SKY's
Week 20
23rd August, Saturday 2014


Hey guys!

After my last week’s post, I discovered that CSAT furore wasn’t about language alone but more technical. How do I know? My boss sent me to Jantar Mantar along with the media team to cover the protest and then I got to know the real issue that for just namesake the question paper is comprised of merely 6-7 questions on aptitude and the rest of them are Mathematics and reasoning questions, which is unfair for students from Humanities. And, guess what! I also joined the protest. Not for nothing my dad has always told me that I was miserable in maths and miserable in reasoning. It is no no shame for me in telling you that I got hit with a lathi on my right bum by a policeman while protesting. Honestly, I still cannot sit on my right ‘tashreef’.

You know guys, these days my content head has started piling up more work on me, despite the fact that I am now a poor soul with hurting right bum and who goes to college as well. As they say, this is a merciless world. Well, this isn’t that bad because my well of knowledge is being filled up more and I can flaunt it at college and impress girls (am I really doing it?). Moreover, redo my impression on Sharma sir, for Tanya. Ha-ha!

Yesterday, my friend got rebuked by the professor for coming late in Tax class. And now, he felt so insulted that he has decided not to wish him anymore and miss his class for the entire semester. How dumb it is. He is being such a cry baby. Hey, wait! He is not being a ‘cry’ baby, but Soren or Chavan or Hooda ‘baby’. Am I right or am I right? LOL! Even these Congress CMs have sought to boycott Modi ji just because they apparently got a reality check by the public when they got heckled. And, they are calling it NaMo’s conspiracy. Dude, as if he has this much of ‘vella’ time.

They said that they have sworn not to share stage with the PM anymore. And, this time it seems that they are really going to abide by this. On a serious note, are we really booing one elected representative for the other on a public platform? So much for respect of elected representatives.

BTW, their ‘nakhre’ reminds me of ‘Kop-bhavan’ in ancient India. Whenever queens were in a sulking mood they used to enter this chamber, particularly made for the purpose of sulking. Also, it was a hint for kings that their better halves were annoyed by them, and need to be coaxed and pampered.

Since I have never even touched the milestone of 1500 words a day. My challenge for today is to touch the final limit of 3000. God bless me! I’ll take off now.

May you get wet in the last rains of the scanty monsoon this year

Cya!
SKY's
Week 21
30th August, Saturday 2014


Wassup People!

I feel so fresh like a brand new Bugatti Veyron coming out of the showroom. I took off for 2 days after so long. A little break was so much needed; I actually started feeling like a donkey, working with no rest. Can’t believe me? Huhh! I don’t understand why do people have trouble in swallowing up the fact that I have become a hard working guy? Okay! Now, even I can’t gulp it in. LOL!

Anyway, I took one leave for Fresher’s Party. Dude, the party was so dope that I danced the whole evening. Well, to some extent I felt like Basanti is dancing for Veeru’s life. And, later I was so tired that let Gabbar take Veeru’s life. I ain’t gonna dance no more, nigga! And, I couldn’t get up the next morning.

But guys, guess what! There is a new chick alert in the office. I just found out that there is a new girl in the content team and after seeing her, my eyes almost popped out. Now, one more responsibility has been added to my ‘macho’ shoulders, that is, to impress her. But unfortunately, after God, VJ has taken up the task of ruining my happiness. For the past many days, she was in a tranquil mode, and now she is all geared up to pull my leg again.

Whenever I tried to initiate a conversation with Riya (of course, the new girl) VJ bumped in. Somehow, I got the chance at the time of lunch, because mademoiselle VJ had gone downstairs. Very suavely, I introduced myself to her. At that time, the news of Bihar’s CM Manjhi flashed on the TV that he advised scheduled caste youths to go for inter-caste marriages, which will turn towards the increase of their population and make them a political strength. So I thought of making a good impression.

“Not even God can help these politicians now. Whenever they open their mouth, only rubbish comes out. What do you think?”, I exclaimed, and tried to sound intellectual and enlightened in front of her. “Exactly! They may not have heard the saying that one should think twice before speaking. Most of their statements are bizarre,” and after that she couldn’t stop. “They keep blabbering senselessly about rapes, poverty, guys and chowmein, and everything rubbish. It’s very seldom that anyone of them has ever talked some sense. And the ironic part is that their claims and judgments always contradict their statements. Hey! Don’t you think that Manjhi’s advice to Dalit boys to marry girls from another caste is exactly like Love Jihad? On one side, they are criticizing Love Jihad and on the other, they themselves are on the same path. All politicians have double standards,” she finally took a breath.

“He wouldn’t know. After all, he is too busy for things like General Knowledge, news, politics and all that stuff,” there came VJ to ruin my happiness. Riya was puzzled as to what is happening. “Of course I know what Love Jihad is,” I tried to save myself from the embarrassment. “OMG! You know Sky, my curiousness just reached to another level. Now I wanna know what it is,” VJ said with that conspicuous evil smile. “Mmm! Love Jihad is a term used for Jihadists,” I made a wild guess which was indeed very wild.

“Ha-ha,” laughed Riya, “VJ babe, you have never been wrong till date, but this time you broke your own record. He is not annoying, but cute in a funny way,” she added. “Do you know each other?” I instantly reached a perplexed state of mind, because they were talking as if they were chuddy buddies. And yes, they are chuddy buddies, which took all my hopes away, because she is VJ’s friend.

Now I’ll have to watch more news channels. Guys, wish me luck to conquer this battle. Ughh!

Gonna read some news on the website.

Cya!
SKY's
Week 22
6th September, Saturday 2014


Guys,

Last week I couldn’t gulp in the fact that I have started working hard. This week, like a boss, I have even digested it with a swollen leg and sore ribs. Now, dad doesn’t taunt me that I am lazy like dogs in the yard. All credit goes to my PS3 skills. On Monday, football trials were happening in my college, so Tanya kinda convinced me to give it a shot. Dude, I was all over the place and believe me, I have become even a bigger star in the college. Girls say to me, “Wow Sky! You write online and now football. Such a multi-talented guy you are. I wish I had a boyfriend like you.” And, I say, “Babe, I am always there.”

I was selected, but unfortunately, during practice I fell down and hurt myself. And, I had to leave it because I wasn’t able to work in the office. I would have become Ronaldo or Messi of my college. But, I don’t have to worry much, because Puchcha has already made me a star. Surprisingly, dad said, “Son, it's okay. You already have too much on your plate right now. There is no need to burden yourself with more things. Do what you feel like.” Now, I know what exactly a jaw drop expression is. He would have been okay, if I had chosen football. It was indeed a shocker of the month for me.

“Oh look! I am sure our very own Puchcha was the guy whom Wani kicked,” uttered VJ and both ‘saheliya’, VJ and Riya laughed, when I entered the office hobbling. “What? What are you talking bout? And, who is Wani?” I asked. As usual, Riya started narrating the news that at the NC convention in Kashmir National Conference leader Nasir Aslam Wani kicked a party worker during the chaos. And, I was wondering, which newspaper or news channel she eats for breakfast.

“Since, the place of an attacking midfield is vacant in my college football team, because I left, this Wani guy can appear for trials. What say?” I said. “Or even better, the Chennai Titans is planning to sign Ronaldinho. So, they should rather be pocket friendly and sign our very own Wani boy,” I added. Riya couldn’t stop laughing at my joke and said, “Oh Sky! You are so hilarious. One cannot get bored with you at all.” “I never knew that you could fall for stinking jokes of Akash,” guess who can say this stinking line. Of course, VJ it is.

“Oh VJ, don’t be a grinch. It was funny. BTW Sky, what if Wani gets rejected there?” asked Riya. Oh yeah! I liked it, taking my side and all. There could be love in the air soon. But, Riya woke me up from the sweet dream and repeated her question. “Well, the National Zoological Park must not be having any kicking Kangaroos. Why not take Wani there and put him on display? I am sure people from all over the world will come to look at him,” I mouthed my brilliant idea.

Guys, that could work. Couldn’t it? If I offer this kickass deal to the zoo authority, they may pay me a hefty amount for offering them a rare species.

Yeah baby! Kashmir, here I come.

Cya people!
SKY's
Week 23
13th September, Saturday 2014


Hey enlightened peeps!

The ice bucket challenge is now as old as the hills. The new talk of the town is our very own desi #RiceBucketChallenge. It is now flooding the Facebook’s walls. And, guess what! I was challenged for it and I did it with all pride and gallantry. It was easy, but it was more sensible. In the ice bucket challenge, people were wasting so much of water without even realizing. And, I think, the #RiceBucketChallenge is more worth your time and effort. All you have to do is to cook or buy a bucket of rice and feed it to someone who needs it or you can donate medicines worth Rs. 100 only to your nearest hospitals. Or you can do both. Philanthropy has no limits.

Now, I have further challenged VJ, Riya and Tanya. Well, Riya is so much impressed with my challenge. She has even started defending me from the tyranny of VJ. How sweet!

BTW guys, I have got a twist in this challenge and for this spin off, I am going to nominate Telangana’s CM K Chandrasekhar Rao with #MediaRightsBackChallenge. Ha-ha! Did you get it, media rights back? LOL! Well, he has banned two news channels, TV9 and ABN Andhra Jyoti for the past three months as they “mocked at the Andhra dialect and hurt the sentiments and feelings of the people of the state”, according to the minister. He has also threatened the journalists, if anyone disrespects the state, then the CM will bury them 10 km under the earth. So, I challenge Rao Sahab to either dig up a hole as deep as 10 km or free the media rights.

On this, Riya said, “Sky, prepare yourself to get buried under the earth”. I asked her why. She reasoned, “See, indirectly you mocked at him. Right? And, you are a media man, because you work in Janpratinidhi. So, my dear friend, you just passed all the eligibility criteria to be buried 10 km under the earth. And if you don’t, then you’ll definitely be buried twice of 10 km under by boss, if Rao ji tries to ban our website like those two channels. BTW, how ironic would that be, the SKY getting buried under the earth. LMAO!”

Dude, believe me, I never heard VJ laughing so hard at a joke. It seemed like she had been waiting for such a moment for her entire life. “Nothing of that sort is happening. So, chill!” I exclaimed.

Anyway, let us see, whether Rao Sahab takes up the challenge. And guys, I challenge everyone of you for the #RiceBucketChallenge. Make it viral all over the globe for good reasons.

Guys! Now on a serious note, you all must be aware of the tragedy in Kashmir. At such a crucial time, I don’t want to sit back at home and watch the news. With my boss’ permission, I am rushing to Kashmir to serve the affected people in the best way I can. And, my colleagues will be sending some supplies with me. So, wish me luck.

Ciao!
SKY's
Week 24
20th September, Saturday 2014


Hey Guys,

I am back from Kashmir. You know I always wanted to visit the ‘heaven on the Earth’- Kashmir. But, who knew that I would go when it would be in such a catastrophic condition. The water is receding now, but after the flood situation has become even graver. People were being rescued by the army and volunteers, but animals were left behind. All of them, cows, dogs, and chickens, are dead and their bloated bodies were literally floating in the water leaving a terrible stench across the entire state. Moreover, the outbreak of waterborne diseases is now hovering over their heads. Garbage, debris, rotting vegetables, overflowing drains are all over the place. I cannot even imagine what people must be going through. All we can do is pray for them and lend them a helping hand. I tried to do my share, but I know only a week is not enough. So guys, I would request all of you that instead of sitting at home in front of TV watching the news, please go out and help them to overcome the disaster. All of their years of toil has drowned in the flood. Help them in any way possible, don’t just sit back. Even one person counts.

Well guys, now that I am back in office, everyone is appreciating me for my effort. And, one thing I am sure about is that earlier whenever I used to call myself a hero or anything of that sort, I was actually nothing. That one week is making me feel so great and content about myself from within that I cannot express it in words. You probably haven’t seen my sensible and sensitive side, neither have I. But, it feels great. And guess what, VJ somehow enabled herself to put some good words together about me.

After the meeting in which my boss and other team members acknowledged my effort, I saw VJ struggling with photoshop. I asked her what happened. She said, “Since the time boss has found out that I have skills in photography, he has given me the responsibility of getting pictures and editing them for even better effects. But, photoshop isn’t my cup of tea. In fact, I hate girls who edit their pictures so drastically that one cannot recognize them in person.” “LOL! VJ, sometimes I wonder that God was about to make you a guy, but changed his mind at the last moment. He gave you the traits of a girl and forgot to replace your brain,” I joked, getting back to my overpowering side. “Ha-ha! In fact, I wonder, how come you are so good at cracking PJs,” said VJ.

“You know, it’s a bliss to crack PJs on VJ,” damn, I still can’t hold my laughter while writing this. “Anyway, you need help in photoshop or not?” I asked her, before she could say anything. “Of course, yes Akash!” she exclaimed. “Uh-uh! Sky or no help. Anyway, you should ask SDMC and DDA for help in photoshop,” I suggested. “What?” She looked even more puzzled than a jigsaw puzzle. “Yeah! Don’t you know, instead of correcting the condition of a Dwarka locality, they corrected the picture. I mean photoshopped it and brushed the broken roads to a smooth F1 racing track and made all the trash disappear. They even presented it in front of the Delhi High Court. What say?” I winked and laughed heartily, man.

Before letting her fire at me, I ran to my boss’ room, but now I know I tamed a lioness who is waiting to avenge me. I will have to save myself.

People, pray for me to the almighty!

Cya!
SKY's
Week 25
27th September, Saturday 2014


Hey guys!

Last time I told you guys that VJ is definitely going to avenge me for the joke I cracked on her and she did conspire against me. If she hadn’t, I would have been watching “How To Train Your Dragon-2”. Ughh, I so much wanted to watch this movie. You know what she did. I had thought of bunking office today. I asked my boss to grant me a leave for today and planned for the movie. Only god knows how mutant VJ got to know about this and told boss that I lied and I am not going anywhere to run important errands.

Look at her timing dude, the movie had just started and I received boss’ call. I ran out of the theater so that he doesn’t hear the sounds. And, when I pressed the green button, all I could hear that he was shouting at me. It was scary, man. And, then he ordered me to come back to the office without any delay. I cannot forgive VJ for ruining the movie for me. When I reached office, VJ smiled and said, “Happy Diwali Sky, boss is calling you”.

Well, I’ll cut the long story short. Boss rebuked me a little, but also goofed with me that I didn’t take him for the movie that is why the natural forces ruined my enjoyment (Why disturb the natural forces, when VJ is here). I must say, that he is somewhat cool. When I stepped out of his room, I saw VJ’s calm face, but I could totally see her punching victoriously in the air..

“You should be put in the cage with Chimpanzees in the zoo, you may even find your lady chimpanzee and stay there happily ever after,” VJ said with all annoyance she could feel all at once. “VJ you should be kept in the zoo with the Tiger Vijay. You guys will be awesome together. Both of your names sound so similar. Awesome, it would be. Right Riya?” I said.

“Wrong! Both of you guys should have been sent off to Mars tied tightly to MOM. Spare us the horror of your stupid fights and revenges. You guys would have Mars to yourselves for your endless fights,” screamed Riya at both of us. Well, yeah! She is right. We fight a lot, but I enjoy it.

Anyway guys, now I am reminded of the awesomest thing ever. Cheers! Why cheers? Because, the history has been made by our nation. Of course, I am talking about MOM entering the orbit of Mars. The country could not get happier when it broke the news. Success in the first maiden attempt, can you imagine? I mean, forget about NASA’s mission, MOM had cost even the 1/3rd of the movie Gravity and yet got successful. That is what I call, Indian “accha, sasta, tikau jugaad”. Ha-ha! Oh world, hell yeah! Here we come. MOM nailed it, but don’t forget, “PAPA aane baaki hai”. LMAO! Am I right or am I right? But guys, it is an amazing achievement.

Congratulations ISRO!

#proudmoment

Cya!
SKY's
Week 26
4th October, Saturday 2014


What’s up people!!

I would say only one thing right now. MODI ROCKS! What a speech man, at the Madison Square! He definitely turned the place into MODIson Square. I couldn’t stop wondering, how come Manmohan Singh never did any such thing. I don’t even know how he sounds. I think he was busy enjoying Pretzels. LOL!

But, guys his opponents must be puzzled thinking of how they should criticise him. I think haters gonna hate and fakers gonna fake. But this man is gonna shine on. Way to go Modi ji! And, guys I think we all should follow his cleanliness drive of Swacch Bharat and challenge our friends and family to do the same. But, please do not take up the broom for the sake of posing. Do the real work and make the streets shine.

You would remember that my last week's entry in the diary had me and VJ in Mars orbit firmly tied to the MOM. Well, if it would have been possible Riya would have certainly carried out her threat to send us to Mars to cool off, but VJ and I were in for a game of dumb charade. Here is the outcome. The weather is quite chilly up here, unlike Delhi, which burns like an inferno. Whereas, every other place is getting heavy showers. Wondering why? I know why. Maybe because all politicians are here. If you know what I mean *Evil Wink* ;). VJ still cannot stop shouting at me and at this point of time I am finding it all to be gibberish. Ha-ha! Well, I thought “mauke pe chauka maara jaye aur Mars pe ek selfie li jaye”. After all, one does not get a chance easily to come to Mars. But VJ said, “Stop! Mumbai police may sniff us taking selfie and they would lock you up.” “What? Have you lost it? I think Mars is growing on you” I exclaimed. “Will you two stop playing Mars-Mars? As far as everyone besides me can see, you guys are very much on Earth,” Riya ruined our imagination.

“But what is this selfie patrolling thing?” I asked. “What? You haven’t read the news? Mumbai police is dragging those couples to police station who are clicking selfies at public places just because they are unmarried and it is immoral to get close to a person of the opposite sex,” Riya filled me in because I and VJ were busy in taking selfies on Mars. “Say what? This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard,” I said. And yes, it is definitely the weirdest thing. Police is stopping guys and girls from clicking selfies, because they need to come closer to fit in the frame, with the reason that they are preventing the chances of a girl getting harassed. But, they are OK with eve teasers passing lewd comments on them. Friends are posing threat to a girl’s security not eve teasers. Oh my god, I am so enlightened. Brilliant logic! -_-

Cya guys!

Gonna broom the dirt away!
SKY's
Week 27
11th October, Saturday 2014


Hey guys!

Everyone in the office has got so sick of our fights that they have started calling me and VJ, India and Pakistan. And the worst part is that they call me Pakistan, because I fire my jokes and pranks at any time, even if we decide to seek peace in between, just like Pakistan’s ceasefire violations. Everyone guffawed at the joke, because I was the one whose legs were being pulled unlike other times as I am the official leg puller in the office. This must be VJ’s best day of life.

Well! They say that it is a small world. I don’t know about small, but it is crazy indeed, stocked up with crazy people beyond the limits. And yes, that counts in VJ as well. (Kidding, VJ. All good between us. :D)

Anyway, at one side Pakistan says that it wants to make peace and on the other side, it violates the pact of truce. In between, Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif remains completely oblivious as to what is happening on the border.

And when India retaliates, the other country gets caught by shock. What did they expect, that we would just sit? No ways! Then, the Pakistani government asks for the intervention of a foreign body. Come on! Are they that naïve? Yes, they are. Because, Pak PM is saying, “India must honour the ceasefire,” and also added that the entire situation is created by India. They must be kidding. Right? Oh no!

The Pakistani government is so baffled by the attack that they now may want to deploy Bilawal Bhutto as their next weapon. And guys, mind it, this weapon may prove to be really fatal. In case you aren’t aware, who this fellow is, let me remind you. He is the same Bhutto scion who, almost a fortnight ago said, “I will take back Kashmir, all of it. I will not leave behind a single inch of it because, like the other provinces, it belongs to Pakistan.”

Since they have hacked the Press Council of India’s website. They may hack all TV cable networks and broadcast a live speech of this kidding kiddo in India. LMAO! So, in order to save yourselves from the terror do not, I repeat, do not in any case switch on TVs. :-P

Meanwhile, India is deciding whom to deploy as the most fatal weapon in Pakistan. They may go for the ones with a big mouth. Let us see, who wins.

But jokes apart, Pakistan need to learn a tough lesson now. If they think that we won’t retaliate, just because we Indians are followers of Gandhji’s preaching of non-violence, that doesn’t mean we won’t do anything at all.

We seldom strike back, but when we hit, we thrash the other side with its intensity.

Beware!

Cya guys!
SKY's
Week 28
18th October, Saturday 2014


Hello guys!

Last week I told you that India is also pondering over whom to deploy on Pakistan in the reply of their Bilawal Bhutto’s use as a fatal weapon. The Indian government has decided to keep this as a highly confidential matter, because it will be a surprise attack, and to make it even more intense, it is better that the news does not go out. So, let us leave the job to the government. But, we should definitely learn how to— attack, deny and make puppy eyes— like Nawaz Sharif, who attacks, stays in denial and rolls the puppy eyes in front of the influential foreign bodies to intervene.

Anyway, lets not give them unnecessary importance. So, I called this world a crazy place with even crazier people in the last week’s entry. Remember? Forget about the world, our own land has a larger population of such nut cases as nutty as a fruitcake wandering in their own twilight zone. I’ll tell you, why I am sounding so wiggy to you.

This is the Fest season in colleges and many Bollywood celebrities are coming in. “Guys, I wanna be an actor,” I said to Tanya and other friends. They were shocked, because until that moment I had eaten up their heads to be a politician. “What? Until yesterday—,” Tanya uttered, but I cut in, “Yeah, a politician. But look at the fanfare, these guys get. Look at this fella, girls are going mad after him. Why wouldn’t I like that?” “Yeah, why not? Keep on adding up more stuff in your wishlist. There is no tax for staying in La-La land. When you finally decide to stick to one, surprise me,” Tanya said with so much disinterest.

“Yar Sky, but for that you’ll have to move to Mumbai, that is Maharashtra,” said a friend. “Yeah, so?” I asked. “Didn’t you read that Raj Thackrey said if he comes into power, he’ll nail ‘NO Entry’ boards for all non-Marathis at the borders, because only ‘Marathi boys and girls’ will be given jobs, no jobs for outsiders. So, drop the dream and stick to your politician’s dream.” Then I recalled, Thackrey Sahab also said, “Maharashtra has not taken a contract to fend for people from other states.”

Is he forgetting that all of us are living in A COUNTRY CALLED INDIA and Maharashtra is only a part of it? One can go anywhere, work anywhere, do anything anywhere all over India regardless of their regional differences. If he actually abides by this, I hope he realizes that he will have to chuck out a majority of populace from all industries. I think the entire Bollywood needs to pack their bags. And if Marathi boys and girls want to move to Bangalore, Delhi, Kolkata, Chandigarh, etc., does he plan to stop them? Moreover, what if the next thing he asks is that we will need to get Visas to visit Maharashtra.

In such scenarios I feel Pak PM’s tactic of living in oblivion is the best. So, I never heard anything about Raj Thackrey’s speech and will move on to the dream of an actor.

Bollywood, here I come!

Cya people!
SKY's
Week 29
12th October, Saturday 2014


Good morning people!!

I hope all of you had a great Diwali.

But, there is nothing good about this morning. I don’t know how to keep myself awake. And, I don’t understand why people get so crazy about firing crackers late night. I tried sleeping on time and every minute fire crackers cracked my sleep. To me firing crackers is like setting ablaze our own money. On a serious note, we talk about leaving a better planet for the coming generations. How would that be possible, if we don’t leave better humans for the planet.

Guys, don’t get surprised. These days I am trying to act more sensibly and I think it’s good at times. I think everybody should try.

Anyway, most of the times, my mouth is open, because I am constantly yawning. “Have you gotten a new duty today?” asked VJ. I replied negative and asked why and what duty she thought. She answered, “You have kept your big mouth opened from the moment you have entered office. So, I thought you have been assigned a new job to catch mosquitoes with your mouth, especially because Dengue season has come.”

“Ha-ha! Did I have to laugh?” I said irritatedly, because I am not in a mood and energy to have word war with her. All I could do at that time was dreaming of myself tucked tightly and cozily in bed sleeping. How blissful would that be. But, now I know that dreams don’t always come true. Just like Shive Sena’s dream of coming into power and driving out all non-Marathis from Maharashtra. Modi-bomb blasted it away from them. I feel you, sir, ‘heart-to-heart’; how bad you must be feeling. I won’t let my dream of becoming an ace Bollywood actor go in vain.

“Sky! Wake up! Stop daydreaming and start working,” called out Riya. “Yeah- yeah!” I said drowsily. She then asked me what I was dreaming of anyway amusingly. “Walking on a red carpet and girls screaming my name, getting my name tattooed on their wrists,” I said with dreamy eyes. “Oh my my! News flash, Sky. Your goal changed?” interrupted VJ as usual. They say, “Deewaro ke bhi kaan hote hai. But, VJ ke aage sab deeware fail.” I mean, dude, whenever I am talking to anyone, anywhere, it has never happened that VJ doesn’t barge in to ruin the conversation.

“Riya, let me fill you up with his last dream which was of politics and now he has changed his mind to acting. BTW! What kind of actor you want to be?” VJ murmured. “Oh come on VJ! Spare him this time. It is not a crime to dream. So yeah, what kind of an actor you wanna be?” Riya asked excitedly.

“I don’t know, I am confused. Chocolate boy or action hero or a laughter king?” I said. Riya said that I could be all, because of the current trend and versatility of actors. But then, something popped up in my head and I dismissed the action hero. Riya asked why. Then I told her that while performing actions, I would certainly get injuries and there will be no doctor to treat me. Riya seemed perplexed at my reasoning. I explained her that everybody knows the fact that how negligent doctors are towards the poor lot. And, Manjhi Sir is adamant to chop off their hands at any cost if he finds anyone neglecting them. I don’t think any doctor would be left so I should rather opt for something safer.

His anger is not wrong for doctors, but I think saner ways to get doctors on track can be found out instead of chopping their hands off. I am sure these politicians must have a mindset that with such statements they may win approvals of people and become heroes of mango people. But unfortunately, they couldn’t be any wronger.

Ughh! I am so sleepy. I’ll take off and wash my eyes.

Cya guys!

Have fun reading my posts cozily in bed. :/
SKY's
1st November, Saturday 2014
Week 30
Sky and His Wishful Thinking


A sweaty ‘hi’ to you guys!!

I know this is not something you wanna hear, but I have landed in a very miserable condition. Every damn day I am getting late. I entered the office in a sweating and panting condition. All thanks to my dad. My old bike is no more, which is why I am asking him for a new one. But, he is saying that I should collect money on my own because I am earning. He was being a little sweet with me for a change, but now he is back to square one, making my life a challenge. As if every day torture of my lecturers in college and VJ’s tyranny is not enough.

When I entered the room, VJ was all set to make me a butt of jokes. “I think every morning, Sky should be honoured with a song at his entry.” And the song was, Baharo phool barsao- with F-O-O-L. She said, “Sky this song will suit you so immaculately.” Everyone had a belly laugh.

“Oh my my! Look who is getting better at cracking jokes. Finally, my lessons are fruitful for you. Guru dakshina nai dogi?” I said. “Oh, yes! I think as Guru dakshina you should get what Bilawal Bhutto got in London. Tomatoes and eggs!” VJ said. Damn! She is getting better. But, Riya came to my rescue and asked me why I got late and fuming. I told her my daily struggle to reach here and how my dad is being so unreasonable.

Guys, I have to run after a bus, then metro, then bus and then walk a few meters. I feel like I run in a marathon every day. But, I won’t have to wait for long. Riya asked me how. I told that Black Money will soon come back to the country and the Modi government has promised to give 15 lakhs to all. Even AICC Communication Department Chairman Ajay Maken is also demanding his money. He said, “Modi had said that each citizen will have Rs 15 lakh if black money is brought back… I am demanding my 15 lakh rupees. I want that 15 lakh rupees to reach to my pocket, to your pockets.”

As soon as I get the money, I would buy my dream bike KTM Duke 390 which is approximately for 2 lakhs and an iPhone 6. I’ll decide later about the rest. How awesome my life would become.

At this Riya said, “That’s a wishful thinking, Sky.” Then VJ jumped in, as usual. She said, “Let him live in his wonderland. He has been working in Janpratinidhi for months now and he still can’t understand the difference between bait and reality.” Unfortunately, I agree with VJ. Even if the Modi wave is there, in the end politicians will be politicians. Modi government would dismiss the matter and promise with some excuses and walk off.

But, I don’t know anything. I want my 15 lakhs right now!!

Let us pray that soon our bank accounts are credited with good cash.

Amen!
SKY's
8th November, Saturday 2014
Week 31
Politics Lures Sky Once Again


Wassup guys,

You know I have been trying to take Tanya on a date, but failed because of Sharma Sir. Finally, I succeeded and we went to Hauz Khas Village. We were chilling out in a café and Tanya said, “I hope Bhartiya Janata Yuva Morcha doesn’t come here and vandalise the whole place, because people come here to hang out and date and you know it is so ‘immoral’.”

“I know! BTW. What do you think of ‘Kiss of Love’?” I asked. “What do you think of my knuckle hitting your face?” Tanya said with mock anger. At first, I got puzzled at her reaction, but then I realized what she was thinking. “Oh no.. no. I am asking about the campaign ‘Kiss of Love’ in Kochi,” I said.

Tanya sighed and said, “I never understood the height of hypocrisy of these so-called moral police and political activists that it is fine to piss in public, but obscene to kiss in public. Forget kiss, hanging out, holding hands, hugging and even clicking selfies. And, of course, there should be a limit to PDA.” I totally agreed.

I said, “Tanya we are living in such a country where girls get raped, no one blinks an eye. Couples kiss in public, everyone loses their minds.” Then, I jokingly suggested that we should move to USA for some freedom. “Oh, you wish! Have you ever seen your face in the mirror? Try it, you may get surprised,” Tanya poked fun at me. I asked, “What my face has to do with freedom?”

“Now, that Sheikh Chilli seems to have possessed you, how will we go?” she asked. I said I’ll cling to my dream of entering politics. “Oh God! Not again with your popping bubbles of dreams and politics drama,” Tanya said, before listening to my foolproof plan.

“What’s so bad about it? I’ll become a politician and earn hell lot of money, then we’ll go. Even better, I’ll join Smajwadi Party. They’ll send me off on official trips for free,” I said. Tanya asked, how she is fitting in the picture, because on an official trip only I’ll go.

I told her that Samajwadi Party has modified the meaning of an official trip. Now, when your boss tells you that you have to go on a trip, your son, daughter-in-law, wife, private secretary and a few other officials also accompany you. And the best part, everything at the company’s expense.

“Sky, has your mind gone completely through the ozone or have you forgotten to put it on like every other day? FYI, I am not your family.” Tanya sounded so much like VJ. “Doesn’t matter, I’ll make you my family,” I joked. That look, I cannot forget. “Don’t worry, once I join the party, I’ll cajole them to add friends too. Then, I’ll take you.”

Later, I explained her the news I read so that she could decipher what I mean. UP’s Transport Minister, Shri Durga Prasad Yadav has set out on a 7 day study tour to Brazil; to study its transport system with focus on infrastructure and IT, with the intention of adopting the best practices in UP with his son, daughter-in-law, wife, private secretary and a few other officials. And, all expenses are borne by the Association of State Road Transport Undertakings (ASRTU).

After joining the party, I’ll propose them to send me to USA, so that I can analyze how Americans shove some sense and logic into people’s mind, especially politicians. Wouldn’t that do enough good to the country?

You’re welcome, guys!

Ciao!
SKY's
15th November, Saturday 2014
Week 32
The world only goes round by
misunderstanding


Hey guys!

As Charles Baudelaire said, “The world only goes round by misunderstanding.” He is cent percent correct in saying this. Wondering why I am quoting a French poet, that too for ‘misunderstanding’ and how come I know about him. Nothing to fear, when uncle Google is there. Right? Now, I’ll tell you why I started with misunderstanding.

Yesterday morning I entered office with ‘ebullience’ and high spirits and asked everyone in the room, “Guys, did you hear the news?” VJ said with completely opposite energy, “Yes! And that is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard.” I was puzzled at what she was saying. Preposterous? “And Sky, I always knew that you are somewhat stupid and dumb, but you are now turning out to be a total MCP.” She didn’t let me say anything. “Wait, what is MCP?” I asked. MCP is a male chauvinist pig. I was shocked and wondering what is wrong with her. I mean things are always wrong with her, but yesterday was beyond wronger.

“VJ, today your mind is out of ozone. Why would you call me an MCD or P or whatever it is?” I said. Then, as usual, our fight began. Then, Riya came in between, who has now become the referee of mine and VJ’s WWE matches. Poor her! “Guys, will you two shut up? Do the both of you drink petrol or kerosene in the morning? A little spark is more than enough to aflame you two,” Riya screamed at us like a mom screaming at her two always fighting kids.

Riya first asked me about the news I was excited. I told her I was jumping for Rohit Sharma’s historic record in the ODI cricket. That was so dope, man! Hats off to him. Right after hearing this, VJ said, “Oh, that news?! I thought you are talking about the AMU library issue. And you are happy that girls are being denied the access of Maulana Azad Library. Oops!” I asked if she wanted to say anything else, hinting at apology for calling me stupid, dumb and MCP. She apologized for MCP and said that she won’t apologise for something which is a fact, i.e., stupid and dumb. But I laughed it off.

But, we continued the discussion over Lt. Gen. Zameeruddin Shah saying that girls attract boys and if one girl goes to the library more boys will come. This will enhance the problem of space. If there is so much problem of space, why he can’t allot certain days to different courses. Is he forgetting that male population is much more than girls? With that logic boys should not be allowed in the library at all because the space problem will persist.

“Please someone tell me who appoint such people for these posts. I think they should not be permitted to speak in public at all. Even if they are accidentally permitted to speak, then their speeches should be scripted. They should not be allowed to speak their absent minds,” I said. How do they even get such thoughts? Riya said, “Did you hear that Manjhi has yet again dared to open his mouth and said that upper caste people are foreigners. They do not belong to the country. In this library case, Shah Sahab doesn’t belong to this planet. In fact, every person who has made such outrageous comments are not ‘dhartiwasi’.”

Sorry Rohit Sharma, but Manjhi sir and Shah sir, have taken your moment of hats off. They deserve it more with some “slow claps and face palm”.

What do you people say?

Ciao!
SKY's
22nd November, Saturday 2014
Week 33
Lo and behold! Sky Baba and
His FOOLlowers


Waddup guys!

What are your plans for the New Year? I know it is too early to ask, but I have already planned mine and I am way too excited for it. Wanna know my plan? People, I am going to Goa this New Year. Wuhuu!! But, I haven’t asked my boss for leaves yet, and I am too afraid to ask. 2-3 people have already asked for leaves and if I go, my plan will become ‘go, Goa, gone’.

“Guys, do you know a simple and boss-proof idea to get a 1 week leave?” I asked VJ and Riya. “1 week leave? Do you think you have any chance? Leave unhe milti hai jo office aate hai,” said VJ. I looked at Riya for some assistance, but she said, “Well, this time, I agree with VJ. You take so many leaves that I don’t think, people from other departments would know anything about you, except your entries on the site.” To this, I said, “Oh C’mon guys. I am not that irregular.”

“Ask me!” said a heavy voice. Oops! That was boss. All I was doing at that time was to pray that he didn’t overhear my plan. “Sky, by your standards irregular would mean coming only 1 day in a week to office. Right?” said boss. “No.. s-sir! I.. I was just making conversation,” I hemmed and hawed. Then, he told me to get back to my work.

As soon as he left, I resumed the topic and suggested if I take a sick leave. “Sky Baba ki jai ho!” VJ said. “Now you can foresee illness.” she added. “Oh yes! I can even foresee your future. Wanna know? You will be one of the biggest devotees of mine.” VJ said that she would be a spy disguised as a devotee to reveal my reality. Of course, I won’t take sick leave in advance. The first day, I’ll text boss that I am down with fever and will make it a little more severe for a week and recover when I come back. What say guys?

Then, I said that I won’t have to worry much as I would have strong followers to protect me and a super strong door. Bwaahh!! “Mere paas gadi hai, bangla hai, bournvita peete bhakt hai. Tumahre paas kya hai. Haiin?” I joked in Amitabh Bacchan ishtyle. “Mere paas darwaza todne ke liye ACP Pradyuman ka officer Daya hai,” said VJ instantly. That was the point we burst into laughter.

At this Riya said that people won’t fall for imposters any more, especially after the big exposé of Rampal, so I should cancel this plan. “Oh Riya, you know people are so gullible that they will soon switch to some new baba as soon as he comes in the market and offer him precious jewels, gold bricks or whatever they can offer,” I said. VJ agreed with me and it happens seldom. Even you guys know it. Whenever she agrees with me, I take it as a signal that I am infallible about that particular thing.

This gullibility is the reason that these Goddamn people claim to be Godmen. May be that is why, people still follow other Babas or Bapus or whatever. They just thug people and become filthy rich in no time. Does rationality, even exist in India? I doubt!

Guys, such people are no angels sent by god or any incarnations. Do not fall in their trap.

“Jago Bharatwasiyo Jago”

Till then, I’ll think of some solid reason for leave.

Cya!


When Fresher of college becomes fresher in politics.

Name : Akash
Pet Name : Sky
Age : 18

PREFACE
Sky has just joined us at Janpratinidhi.com. After all we needed someone who could represent the first time voters of this country, all 10 Crores of them, on our content team. He is a cool dude who cares two hoots about social norms. His Chinese tattoo on his right fore-arm declares that we have a rebellious specimen from the 10 crores. His first attempt to write about youth and politics in the office was little short of killing all he sees with the ‘light saber’ of Luke Skywalker. We at Editorial Board are worried about how to break him into the world of adults. Instead of giving him the mighty pen (keyboard here) to write for the people of India in this age of section 66A of IT Act, our editor decided to publish his hands-on experience and his becoming of age as an enlightened voter of this country. Read on. This will be his weekly column. PS. Sky was named ‘Akash’ by his parents.